Depends

I know, I know, you have all missed me terribly.  Well, I have been very busy lying on the living room floor.

On Saturday I was doing laundry, which I just blogged about, slightly ironic...and I bent over to pick up the tiny little load of reds and basically never came up.  Yup, my back went out.  Doing laundry.  We all know what that means.  I no longer do laundry.  Luckily, the last time this happen I was putting on pantyhose.  Sooo not in style anymore.  I don't miss them a bit.  I don't think I will miss the laundry much either. 

So here I was stuck in a half stand, half bent position with no hope of moving either way.  I finally figured out that I could indeed crawl, very very slowly and I got myself to the living room, where I laid on my back for who knows how long.  My back hurt so bad I thought I was going to pass out, poor Bobby didn't know what to do, call my bluff or call 911.  I didn't pass out, Thank you Jesus but I did have to pee.  Yes, I am going there.  Why not, after this weekend I have been humbled down to the size of a cranberry.  So here I am, lying on the floor and I can't figure out how to get back to my crawling position without causing pass out pain.  I am crying cause I am going to pee my pants.  All I can think of is how to explain the huge pee stain on the carpet in the middle of the living room to dinner guests.  I have no children to blame.  What will I say?  We just have to get hardwoods next week, its settled.  While I was busy picking out my new flooring, sweet Bobby was standing over me helpless not knowing what in the world to do with me.  Now he is a thinker, that Bobby.  He exclaims, I got it!  I will go buy you Depends. This caused me to laugh and laugh which hurt so so bad and was not helping the situation.  I thought he was making a joke when in fact, he was dead serious.  This was THE solution to all my problems.  A pack of Depends.  God help me, I am 28. 

I wish I could describe Bobby running to Walgreens and picking up the Depends but the idea of Bobby being able to make fun of me for the REST OF MY LIFE about peeing in the living room made me figure out how to crawl.  I spent the rest of the weekend crawling. I can walk really slowly now and expect to be back in full force by Friday.  I have places to be, things to do, people to see.  Oh and a big pile of work.